.. can you hear me through my lies?

i myself am made entirely of flaws, stitched together with good intentions

i want to be the girl you fall for when everyone else is falling for you.

its so completely ridiculous. if it was anyone else, i would hold a grudge for months. but with you, i last all of ten minutes before i fall under your spell again.

feel like i've gotten a lot smarter since i've met you. not necessarily within my brain but my heart. i learned a lot from you, i don’t fall for boys as easy anymore. i don't believe all the things they say to me with such ease. i've learned not to take them serious. i guess this is a good and bad thing but i want to thank you. thank you for teaching me not to put up with and believe bullshit.

she's getting stronger, you know, since you didn't push her away. no, you threw her away. she's learned. you aren't the only thing she talks about anymore, she laughs a little more, and i can see that glow inside her begin to flicker again. she's picking herself up and she's getting stronger and immune to you everyday.

wish i had the guts to walk away and forget about what we had.
but, i can't because i know you won't come after me,
and i guess that's what hurts the most.

it’s a cycle. you smile at me. you text me. you flirt with me. you make me fall for you again in a matter of days. then, you’re gone. you act like an ass to me. you won’t talk to me, answer my texts or even look me in the eye. so i give up. i move on. or so i think, until that cycle happens all over again

you want to know what makes me love you more than i loved him? it's because when he got me, i was perfectly unused. i was fearless and a hopeless romantic. when you got me i was bruised and battered. i was afraid of the world and cynical about love. and yet, you didn't leave.

Always hold your head up high, even if on the inside, you're about to cry. Pretend that nothing's wrong at all. Close your eyes before you fall. If you can't see it, it's not there. This is life and it's not fair.’

After all the stupid mistakes that you've made & after all of those flaws that you have, I've noticed that none of it matters because I truly love you. & once you love someone, it doesn't really matter what they will become in this world. So whatever you do in life, I will always love you.

I'm gonna stop looking back and start moving on.  Learn how to face my fears. Love with all my heart, make my mark --I wanna leave something here

People always ask me, "Have you ever been in love?"
I tell them, "Yes, but that wasn't good enough for him."

I've kissed your lips and held your hand. Shared your dreams and shared your bed. I know you well, I know your smell. I've been addicted to you

It makes us crazy. It makes reality invisible and it erases all the lines that we shouldn't cross. Because love isn't about fencing ourselves in; feeling safe, feeling sure about the future. It's about scaring the shit out of every nerve in our body, but pushing forward anyway. Because all the fighting and all the tears and all the uncertainty are worth it.

She's a wild one, she was born to run. She's never stopped for anyone and she's always lived in the moment. She's not the kinda girl that falls in love or makes plans. But with you, boy, she did.

I remember accidental brushing of arms. I remember the street light that started it all. I remember sitting on street corners, your fingers intertwined in mine. I remember you saying you would never let me fall. I remember the I love you's. I remember the gift, the surprise, the delight. I remember the goodbye. The I miss you's, wish I could kiss you. I remember the confession. I remember the sleepless nights. I remember the fights. I remember the floor, the couch, the chair. I remember the talk. I remember the war. I remember the tears. I remember the numb, the unconscious, the vacancy. I remember the last goodbye, the last touch. I remember you. Do you even remember me?

How weird is it to think that two years ago I didn't even know who you guys were? Now I can't imagine not seeing your smiling faces almost everyday. So we better not ever lose touch because although I lived without you before, I don't know if I could do it now.

It made me wonder how many times we forgive just because we don't want to lose someone, even if they don't deserve our forgiveness.

I just want them to know that  they didn't break me.

Whenever I walk by you, our eyes meet and I wonder if you remember what it was like such a long time ago. I miss you so much but I’m afraid to say anything to you. I’m afraid that you don’t remember, or even worse, that you don’t want to remember me.

Never forget what they did to you 
and never let them know you remember. Here’s what I’m going to do. I’m going to stop dwelling. I’m going to stop watching the phone. I’m going to stop looking for you. I’m going to move on. I’m going to meet people. I’m going to live. I’m going to forget all the nights I spent wishing you were here. I’m going to forget the times that it was just us. I’m going to forget the things that shouldn’t have happened. I’m going to forget all the times I opened myself up to let you in, to only get hurt in return. I’m going to forget how I felt about you. Instead, I’m going to subconsciously wait. If you really want me, if you miss me, if you can’t breathe without me, you’ll know. You’ll ring. You’ll text. You’ll visit. And if you drift, if you don’t call, if there’s no texts, if there’s no visits. I’ll know. I’ll know it was never meant to be. And I will continue moving on. And I’m going to walk tall. But in between everything I will forget, I won’t forget the lesson I’ve learned. I won’t forget the feeling of loving someone. I won’t forget the feeling of thinking I’m loved. And I will certainly not forget the hell I was put through to learn all this, to become a better person.

.. hold that thought ..

Some relationships are like glass; Sometimes it's better to leave them broken, than try to hurt yourself, in putting the pieces back together again.

just tell me why I was never good enough. I think you owe me at least that much. after all the months of second guessing and falling down, you owe me this. so before you go run of to your pretty little new girlfriend, look me in the eyes and tell me why after I nearly killed myself trying to be perfect for you, I still never really lived up to your expectations? We don't have uncountable memories, and we don't waste our time together, and we don't finish eachother's sentences, but that's okay, cause you make me happy. And that's enough for now.

I'm the girl, the one who always loses. The one with the fake smile and the girl who seems so strong but continues to break. That girl who's always there and seems to have no problems of her own. The one who holds back tears until she's off the phone...that girl that is love with a guy who doesn't care at all.

yeah i remember when you said you'd always be here, and i also remember how you left. yeah, i remember how you said "only one for me", and i also remember when i saw you with her. yeah, i remember when you said you "i'm sorry, i'll never do it again", and i also remember when you did do it again. yeah, i remember when you said "a promise is a promise, i never break a promise", and i also remember when you broke it. yeah, i remember when you said "have i ever let you down?", and i also remember when i said "yes." yeah, i remember when i said what was on my mind, and i also remember you leaving me on the floor with a bullet through my chest

To be unnoticed by the person you notice the most feels as if you were offering your most beautiful portrait to a blind person.

he's the reason i'm messed up, the reason i can't get myself into another relationship. no matter how hard i try, no matter how bad i want to... i'm scared. i'm not scared of getting hurt, i'm scared of hurting someone else. It's because i could never love anyone the way i loved him.

You've changed so much. I guess that's what happens. I wish you knew how much you've changed me. I wonder if I've changed you, if your life is different because of me.. because mine's different. My God, you taught me so much, and now we don't even talk to each other. I guess that's what happens.

we never talked or decided that this would happen; it just did. i came home last weekend to visit. it wasn't much different than it usually is. i tried to keep my distance and saw you when you were free. but i guess somewhere within the time that i was home something had changed. since i left again and went away from you we don't seem to talk anymore. i'm not sure why but i'm pretty sure that we're not on the same page. i haven't contacted you because i want you to be able to live your life and i want you to hopefully see that your life is not the same without me in it. i haven't contacted you because i love you and you just keep hurting me. i want you to need me. you haven't contacted me because you don't care anymore. it probably makes you happy that i'm leaving you be. with each day you are probably becoming happier. with each day i lose more hope and become a little more lonely than i had been the day before. i love you

We'll pace the roads and we'll paint the skies. Our path is plagued by discontent goodbyes.

We're striking the days so we can burn the nights, And I'll never look back on what I've left behind.

Most girls say they want a fairy tale, but that's not what I want. I want someone who will make fun of me and laugh at my jokes even if they're stupid. Someone who will wrestle with me and not let me win because I'm a girl. Yeah, riding off into the sunset would be nice, but playing thumb war with you seems so much better.

I don't forgive people because I'm weak. 
I forgive them because I am strong enough to know people make mistakes.

I didn't give up cause I didn't care, I gave up cause you didn't

More people would learn from their mistakes if they weren't so busy denying them

I saw him staring at me - not glancing, but blatantly staring. & I wondered if he was staring at the wreckage he had created or if maybe, just maybe he regretted ever hurting me in the first place. In that moment I just wanted him to push me hard against a wall & kiss me. I didn`t want to think anymore. I didn`t want to question it. I just wanted to feel it. Sometimes that`s all we need - is just to feel it.

I’m a girl. I have feelings. I overreact. I underestimate. I overestimate. I over think everything. I look too deep into everything's meaning. I dream big. My expectations are high. I can tell when I'm being lied to but sometimes I wish I didn't. Yes I get jealous, and I'm always scared I'll lose you. That's why when I ask how you are I mean it. When I ask how your day was, I genuinely want to know. And when I say I love you, I'm not lying.

I have a feeling that a lot of people have let you down, but I’m not going to add my name to that list.

Just once, I want to be hard to leave. I want someone staying up all night thinking only of me.

The hardest part is waking up in the morning and remembering what you had been trying so hard to forget the night before

Strength isn't about how much you can handle before you break. It's about how much you can handle after you break

she's just a little too scared 
to get close because everyone 
who said they'd be there, left.

I guess somewhere you'll still be in the back of my head some place. I'll deny it from time to time and I'll say I don't remember you and I'll go on about how your name does sound vaguely familiar. I'll laugh off the times you made me cry with the friends that were there and went through the pain with me. But the truth is... I could never forget those times we had and I could never forget you. Because at one point, your name alone made me the happiest I thought I ever could be. And they always say never regret the things that once made you smile.

I hope when you lay next to her you think of me. I hope when you repeat to her the same lines I once heard, you feel dirty. I hope when you can't sleep at night, memories of me flood your brain. But mostly, I hope when you touch yourself, you remember how I always did it better.

 i want to wear your sweatshirt to bed, watch scary movies with you, talk on the phone till sunrise, sneak out at night to look at the stars with you, play your favorite video game, make you watch chick flicks, kiss you in the rain, go on walks with you, laugh until i cant breathe, hold hands, build a fort and have a snowball fight. i want to fall hopelessly in love with you

he knows the real me. the me that prefers to stay home on weekends to play Nintendo and eat ice cream and pizza. The me that runs around in shorts and a t-shirt and my hair a mess, but he actually likes the real me.

.. i wish you were a stranger i could disengage ..

I lie to you so you won't think I'm weak. I lie to myself to keep myself from breaking down. I believe you because I hope you would never lie. I loved you because anything else felt wrong. Everything I would say to anyone else was incomplete. When something good happens I was used to telling you about it. If I had you, I had everything. I only wish that was a lie. Now I have nothing. Nothing but my half truths, broken promises and heartache. I'm surrounded by people but I still look for you in the crowd.

"we were just two kids with a whole lot of love for each other, & a whole bunch of things standing in our way."

"I've realized that when I'm with you, the world goes away. when you look at me with your big green eyes, i could stay with you forever & that every time we're talking, i constantly have a smile on my face. I've realized now that when i say i love you, i actually mean it with everything i have. I've realized that i can't be without you."

"so please give me your hands, so please give me a lesson on how to steal a heart, steal a heart as fast as you stole mine"

"I never thought i`d hear myself saying this, but thank you. Because if you hadn't come along, I never would have learned that my worst day could also have been my best. Because when a heart breaks, it also opens; and once a heart opens any number of things can happen, and some of them can be wonderful."

"She survived. She'll make it. but you don't survive something like that without scars."

"She hides her pain so easily behind those blue eyes and that wide smile. You'd never even suspect what she's really going through."

"Because even though she can't say his name anymore, and just because she never talks about him, doesn't mean he isn't always on her mind. And even though he's not here anymore, doesn't change the fact that he's still locked up in her heart. And even though it's been all this time, he's still managing to tear her apart."

"I live in notes and photographs and everything I'm holding back, but you're the words that weren't enough. You remind me of a song I used to love"

"Heartbreak is one of those things that is impossible to define and terribly hard to describe. It's a 'you know it when you feel' sort of sensation. It's the pain you experience that I can only equate to being roundhouse kicked to the head, chest, stomach, and knees all at the same precise moment. It's what you are feeling when you've run out of tears, but you just can't stop crying, so you are reduced to a curled up ball of silent, painful, dry sobs. It's a period of time in which you utilize the phrase “I'm fine, just fine,” and you put on a fake smile to pretend you are this strong girl, when really, dropping your pen makes you want to start crying again. It's a mindset in which you want with all of what happens to be left of your heart to hate him, but you can't, because you are down right confident that you 'love' him. It's when you listen to those sad songs even when you know they won't make you feel better. It's when it hurts to exist."

"She's been there for you since day one. Through hell and back, she never once left you by yourself. And you took advantage of that, of everything she offered which was all that she had. The one day that you realize what you had for the longest time though, will be the day that it won't matter, for it will be too late. You'll have already lost her."

"And she sat there for hours thinking and recollecting on how things used to be.

And she laughed, and she cried. And she couldn't help but think of what

she wouldn't do to get them back to that way once again."

"She's been hurt many times before this. You'd think it would be routine by now. You'd think she wouldn't let it get to her; but the truth is, she trusted you. "

"I'll say my goodbye, and you'll walk away in the way you do. The we'll both pretend that nothing happened and we never knew each other. Because that's what happens. You find people, and then you lose them. Nothing lasts forever."

"I know alot of people who know who he is. But I also know there are not that many people who got to see the side of the guy that I did. And that guy, well, I'll never forget him. Not ever. I've learned so much about life and emotion from knowing him and I wouldn't change a thing about it. Including the ending.

Your heart needs to go through some bumps like these once in a while. Besides, he had made a monumental impact on me and on my life in these past few months. I know no matter how many years go by, my stomach will always do a little flip whenever I see him."

I don't know what it was but whenever I couldn't talk to you, I just felt empty..like my dream was slipping away for that time period and wouldn't be returned till we spoke again.

Even though we couldn't make it last I will still love you every morning when I wake and every night when I fall into deep slumber, because loving you is easier to me then breathing and I cannot erase a habit like that without killing myself.

I miss those midnight conversations. I miss how you would make me laugh out of my own frustration. But you just come to know that you get so used to being loved, and in one second it can all come crashing down. Now I know to not let anything get that far ever again, because I didn't know how I could wake up one morning and have it all hit me. I didn't know I could miss you this much.

	i know were practically complete strangers now, who can't even look at eachothers in the halls. and i know we can't hold a conversation for longer than a minute. but it doesn't make any difference to me, i love you the way i did a year ago, and honestly, above all, i miss you

	Sometimes I wonder if you are worth it. I wonder if it’s okay to take that chance of being hurt again. It’s been so long since I’ve opened up to someone, but your the first guy that has been able make me breathe again, so that must mean something right?

Everyone, at some point in their lives, wakes up in the middle of the night with the feeling that they are all alone in the world, and that nobody loves them now and that nobody will ever love them, and that they will never have a decent night’s sleep again and will spend their lives wandering blearily around a loveless landscape, hoping desperately that their circumstances will improve, but suspecting, in their heart of hearts, that they will remain unloved forever. The best thing to do in these circumstances is to wake somebody else up, so that they can feel this way, too.