.. but she laughs and says "that's the way love goes" ..: .. we are shaped by the light that we let through us..

I have probably asked myself a million times so far in my lifetime "when will things finally fall into place?"-- and as I sit here today at work, I think Im beginning to realize that there is no "in place" That life is chaos. A beautiful, chaotic mess. We go from one place, or one situation to the next wondering if that's where we are meant to be, or if that's what we are meant to be doing. We spend so much time wondering, trying to plan out what will happen next, or what we want to happen next and we often miss out on so many beautiful moments, opportunities, lessons. There are many different paths I could have taken previously. Different choices I could have made, that at the time may have led me into better direction or situations. But today, I sit here-- for the first time in a long time-- completely at peace. Completely content with where I am, and who I am. Completely grateful for my chaotic mess that I have made, and the chaotic moments and experiences I have yet to have. Things may not be "in place" like I had planned, but they are "in place" exactly how they were meant to be.

I dont know why I like this picture so much. I think it reminds me of being a kid. All the carelessness in the world. Just to be free and have fun.

I would never, ever leave this place if I found it. What a beautiful view.

This explains why I have done so many things in my life. No matter how badly someone has hurt me, or destroyed my trust-- I will always do things to help them, to better them. Recently, I had helped someone who hurt me more than anyone ever has in my life, and after not hearing a word from them in years I went out of my way to help them, and in return got nothing-- not even a thank you. But I want this person to be happy, and If I in some way can help contribute to that, I will help as much as I can.