.. no more masks and no more parts to play ..

We can talk all night, I'll say the things I should have said when there's nothing but time to waste. Now there's not enough time to say. I wont take for granted the people I love, just breathe in the moment, just breathe in love.

In the best, most desirable way; you scare me. And I love the way you scare me, but it makes me nervous. And then I say or do something really stupid, so I spend all this energy coming up with ideas to be smart so that you don't think I'm stupid; and those ideas inherently backfire therefore making me look more stupid. It's a vicious circle and I'm at the end of my rope because all I really want to do is kiss you, and I feel if I don't kiss you soon I'm gonna explode.

I stood above the wooden bridge, with my arms wrapped tightly around my body, listening to the river rush by. The wind blew lightly, sending shivers down my spine. The sun was setting, disappearing slowly behind the trees. I swayed back and forth with the music that was playing over and over in my head as I took in a deep breath and relaxed. I closed my eyes, smiling to myself absentmindedly. A warm pair of arms snaked across my waist, as the body held me closer to theirs. You rested your chin on my shoulders and kissed my neck softly. I knew this body and these lips from anywhere. I sighed happily, my heart beating faster than ever. I wish this moment could last, just having you right by side, everything would be alright.

So wake up and let go of these feelings that I've had for you; it's easier said than done. So give up and let go of these feelings that I've had for you; why couldn't you be one? But it's a guilty pleasure deciding whether you were ever mine or not. But it's just apparent that you weren't ever mine to start. What will it take to make you understand that I, I'm not lying when I say I need you.

I need to find just some way to get through, or at least some way that I can mention.. I'm feeling you, you're feeling me, what exactly is holding us back? I'm feeling you, are you feeling me? Just give me something, give me anything. Oh it's you, and it's true; You're electric, I can't get over it.

Every so often I can hardly remember the sound of your voice or the awkward rhythm in your walk.

I'm losing you all over again.

While I can’t have you, I long for you. I am the kind of person who would miss a train or a plane to meet you for coffee. I’d take a taxi across town to see you for ten minutes. I’d wait outside all night if I thought you would open the door in the morning. If you call me and say ‘Will you…’ my answer is ‘Yes’, before your sentence is out. I spin worlds where we could be together. I dream you. For me, imagination and desire are very close

And every once and awhile, we both turn and find each others eyes. I feel a surge up my spine and my heart pounding. So powerful, so loud, you must've felt the earth shake with me.

Now the risk that might break you is the one that would save - a life you don’t live is still lost. So stand on the edge with me, hold back your fear and see nothing is real till it’s gone. Hold on, before it’s too late. We’ll run till we leave this behind. Don’t fall, just be who you are.. it’s all that we need in our lives. So live like you mean it, and love till you feel it.

And its more than I can bare to look away. And I just smile, it's all I need to say, to make her see that it's moments just like these that I need. My mouth forfeits my words. She may not be mine but I'm all hers.

Others conquered love, but I ran. I sat in my room and I drew up a plan. But plans can fall through, as they often do. And time is against me now.

"Tell him I hate him, tell him I've moved on, tell him I don't think about him anymore but don't tell him I said this with tears in my eyes."

"I had a million crushes. In fact, every attractive boy I gravitated towards I spent a minute or two thinking about. But you, you were the only one I wasted hours , days, years on."

"I know I'm not completely over him. He still crosses my mind several times a day, but with each one of those times, a feeling of contempt also passes through my heart. Maybe if this happens enough, my heart will become completely hardened to him, and I'll get to the point where he doesn't affect me anymore."

"Sometimes I really wonder how stupid it would seem to him. How I sit here with my eyes never leaving the screen of my phone waiting for his new text. Or refreshing the screen until it says he's online. Or how when I miss him I read the things he told me months and months ago. I really wonder what he would say if he knew he meant that much to me."

.. behind these castle walls ..

we tend to fall in love the same way we get

sick: without wanting to, without believing it,
against our will and unable to defend ourselves.
and then we lose love exactly the same way.

   In three words i could sum up what i learned
about life so far: it goes on, everything i learned about love:
it doesn’t last, and everything i learned about people: they change fast.

She was a girl that spoke her mind, never played games, and acted confident when she could barely stand looking in the mirror. She didn’t gloat of her achievements, or tell of them even though she had many. She lived in mistakes, in past regrets, and she’s just beginning to realize that sometimes, you can’t change things, that you can’t go back in the past and sometimes, you just have to move on because life’s too short to dwell on the unchangeable. 

.. i think ill stay, right here where its safe ..

The reason I am still so attached to you is because I never felt that way about anyone. Cliche, right? Well, I'm serious. To this day, I would take you back. I would take back all the lack of communication and all the bullshit you pull. I would deal with your stubborn mind and closed heart. Tell me why, out of all the prince charmings, why did I chose the most uncharming of them all?

Every scar you have tells a story. The time you fell of your bike, the time that you scraped your arm while climbing that tree, or the time he broke your heart

I just need something that will take me away, to help me disconnect, to get you off of my mind. I just need something that will give me the strength to get away from you, to escape from here.

I hate what you do to me, I don't hate you.
I get myself into fits of tears over what you
did. & all the while, I'm still hoping you will
come and dry my tears.

i have no problem telling you that i miss you. i know you hate to hear it and that you also hate when i admit that i will always love you. but that's who i am. would you really want to be lying to yourself saying that i'm okay? we both know that my happiness is not that simple

i should just lay on a naked mattress, without sheets and pillows. when you left you took my comfort. when you left you took my warmth. i don't really like laying in this bed without your arms around me anyway

i rather you inflict the pain now. i'm falling for you more than i should so if you're going to break my heart in the end, please just get it over with now. then, i can maybe walk away with a possibility of piecing myself back together

"when you're young, your whole life is about the pursuit of fun. then, you grow up and learn to be cautious. you could break a bone or a heart. you look before you leap and sometimes you don't leap at all because there's not always someone there to catch you. and in life, there's no safety net. when did it stop being fun at start being scary?

"Sometimes i find myself running from love. i want to push anyone away who tries, because honestly, i'd feel horrible if anyone had to deal with the mess i really am. to be with me would be a chore. maybe at first, they wouldn't see it. maybe they wouldn't want to. but i am nothing great. i am no prodigy of humanity. i'm just a damaged girl with a lot of heart, no direction, and barely any stability. so for anyone who wants to try, i'll deny you and deny you again until you finally cease. i'm saving you a tremendous burden, trust me. i'm better off alone. i've been so good at it, how could i, and why would i stop now?"

its hard to look in the mirror when you see only the shell of who you once were and you remind

yourself of how the beauty slowly disappeared starting secretly on the inside and you become numb and unaware of how hurt you should feel after being used on a friday night and i know

what its like to sit in the dark listening to bright eyes holding a bottle of prescription pills imagining how  your mother would react when she found you and i know what its like to feel so numb you cut and burn your forearms to feel some kind of fucking pain and when they see those scars you hide them under your jeans and you kill yourself hoping the monster inside could somehow make the mask you lived in for years a little easier on the eyes a little more beautiful but if you look in real close your nose pressed against the glass you will see you have become so fucking ugly inside and out you are a mess of everything you once  hated and what you still hate and the people on the outside can see the bottle of lies and scars of insecurities and the secrets you thought would be kept forever are things that everyone knows

Ever since I was young, I never really understood anything about the world. And I never understood anything that happened in my life. The only thing that ever made any sense to me was you. And how I felt about you. That's all I've ever known. And that's enough for the rest of my life.

“I was born with an enormous need for affection, and a terrible need to give it.”

There are better things ahead than any we leave behind.

I love the feeling after a good run. Or the feeling when my favorite song is on full blast in the car, driving through the country air. I like when my mom makes my favorite meal. I like traveling to nowhere, getting lost, and then the best part, being found. I like being held by someone who means a lot to me, especially when I haven't seen them in awhile. We always complain there isn't enough time. Or that these moments never come around enough. It's true that we never stop growing old, and we mature faster than we'd like. But time is the essence of life, and it brings change and surprise. I like watching the people I care for get older, change, become who they're suppose to be. Sometimes we all wish to go back, to repeat a moment, or pause it forever. But we need change, even when we don't want it. The cards are placed and time brings us closer to our destination. All the while as we travel through.. the things we love doing, the people we share our life with, that's the destiny. We're not suppose to end up anywhere, we're suppose to make the best of this journey.

Fuck it. You throw a dart at a map, we’ll go there and start new. Somewhere else in the world that’s not here. Somewhere where we haven’t said things to each other that we can’t unsay and done things which we can’t undo. There we can say new things. We can do new things. And those new things we say and do will be more important than the old things. Let’s leave. Please. Leave with me.

While you were sleeping I figured out everything, I was constructed for you, and you were molded for me. Now I feel your name, coursing through my veins. You shine so bright it's insane, you put the sun to shame.

Get dirty. Get fucking filthy. Get poor. Get off your ass. Get desperate. Get dangerous. Get villified. Get vile. Get romantic. Get fucked. Get moving. Get productive. Get pro-active. Get started. Get your own life. Get doing somthing. Anthing. Because before you know it, you're fourty with kids, a mortgage, and responsibilities that cause your fun to come second. So before cancer, before children, before fifity hour work weeks, before back and knee problems, before school loans, before you lose your sense of humor.. Fight. Fight and fuck and run and smile. Smile because the older you get, the less you will. So yes, "quit being such a goddamn pussy," because bitching and whining and worry never make anything better.

He asked, "Are you sad?" And she was quiet, hesitant, unlike herself, until she shakily shook her head "yes". And he said nothing, but ran his hands up her back and turned her to face him, pressing his nose against hers looking softly, hardly breathing, understanding, not knowing, not even loving, just comprehension, comprehension of what she needed: The hands that brushed her spine and the hair out of her face the pressure of his body and the fact that just then, he was her friend. And she felt more than his skin and he, more than hers, and he held her like he held the world.

I wonder how many people I’ve looked at all my life and never seen.

I guess I never let you go, because in the back of my mind, I still believe that someday we’ll get our second chance.

I don’t remember what made us stop talking, I don’t even remember when the last time we did but I just want to let you know that I miss the best friend in you and I hope that you miss me too.

Sometimes, I wonder what I'd say  to you if you suddenly walked back  into my life again. I wonder what I'd say to you after all this time. After you broke my heart and left. But most of all I wonder what you'd say to me

She's hurt. Mentally and emotionally. Literally and metaphorically. 
But, everyday she walks outside with a smile on her face. 
Because that's who she is, the girl who never stopped smiling

They say that if you love someone you should let them go, but they never say what to do when they don't come back

But someday, someone is going to thank you for letting me go ... I hope

I hate how dispensable I am to people. I hate how people feel they can just forget about me, replace me, erase me without even a second thought. It’s like I don’t matter to anyone. And hey, I mean, I don’t blame you. I’m no one special. I just thought you were different. I had more faith in you. And you took that, ripped it up, shoved it in my face and walked away without ever looking back.

if you're going to make me cry, at least be there to wipe away the tears

‎.. to that place where you cant remember, and you cant forget ..

it's probably not okay that i still sleep in your shirt now that you hardly talk to me. but there must be a reason you don't take it back everytime i offer

i don't hate you, i'm just disappointed you turned into everything you said you'd never be

I don’t know if I'm getting over you, or just getting used to the pain

I just can't erase you from my past. I just can't delete you from my mind. All I can do is say gooodbye, I can't pretend we were never here. I can't fake like it didn't hurt when you disappeared. I refuse to use a fake old grin, but then again, I'll never win. I can't pretend that I don't care, I can't pretend that you're near. So I guess all I can do is just pretend to say goodbye

Half the world is composed of people who have something to say and can't, and the other half who have nothing to say and keep on saying it.

I’ve learned that no matter how much I care, some people are just assholes. I’ve learned that it takes years to build up trust, and it only takes suspicion, not proof, to destroy it. I’ve learned that you shouldn't compare yourself to others; they are more screwed up than you think. I’ve learned that the people you care most about in life are taken from you too soon, and all the less important ones just never go away.

Seems like we just got started. Then before you knew it, the times we had together were gone.

you say you don't know what you want. But i think the truth is that you're afraid of what I could give you. of how great we could be. because when you look me in the eyes, and kiss me hard, pushing me into your mattress, it sure as hell isn't confusion i see.

Every day people look at me and they see someone strong
but say his name to me and you’ll find out strength is just an illusion.

i'm deleting your number from my phone with the hope that one day i won't have it memorized

the air around me fades to black, taking my senses but leaving all thought. reality and imagination are far too pronounced, so please spare me the bad news for tonight

making love was never about you and me in a bed; we made love whenever we held hands.

If I'm out of time & I could pick one day, one moment and keep it new, of all of the days I have lived - I would pick the day I met you.

She'll be the first to admit that she's not perfect. Her life's a wreck, & the only thing holding her up is the hope that it'll get better. She's got some friends who would die for her, & she has friends that would kill her, given the chance. She has the mental stability of a psychiatric patient, & the constant drama that surrounds her doesn't help. Sh e's lost all of the people she depended on, whether it be death, or betrayal. Despite everything that has happened to her, the reason she keeps hanging on is the hope that it will all get better and guess what. it does