.. but she laughs and says "that's the way love goes" ..: .. what a beautiful mess im in ..

I've been through so much with you, more than any other and I still want you as much as I did the first time I laid eyes on you. Every time I see you, it's like meeting you for the first time all over again. It's the butterflies in the stomach, the not knowing what to say, but out of all the things you've taught me, there's still one thing I don't know. I don't know how to fall out of love with you. I don't know how to let go and as I stand there looking at you, I wonder if there will ever be a day when I get over your smile, when will I let go of the hugs you gave me that I continue to feel. A day when I forget the words you said to me, forget what you meant to me or forget how much I love you. But, no matter what you did to me or whatever happens to us, I know I could get over, let go, or forget you. When you care about something as much as I do you, being apart is the hardest thing to get used to. I thought I'd handle it just fine and that I'd be happy just to keep you on my mind. But it isn't always that easy. Sometimes, one thing that would please me the most is simply seeing you. I knew that I'd miss you, I just didn't know I'd miss you as much as I do. I want to share my tears with you. I want to share my love with you. I want to share my happiness with you. I want to share my strength with you, my smiles, my frowns, my joy, my loss, my good days, my bad days, the rain, the sunshine, hot cocoa, and the snowflakes. I want to share my life with you. People can just be best friends but at one point or another, one of them will fall for the other, maybe temporarily, maybe at the wrong time, maybe too late, or maybe... just maybe, forever

I know I'm full of insecurities and disappointments, but I promise you that there's a part of me that's worth keeping.

I’m the kind of girl who kicks the soda machine because it ripped me off. The kind who skips with friends down the mall then stops and says “Never mind, I know too many people here today.” The kind who can always win an argument because I start to get illogical. The kind who likes to get noticed. The kind who is afraid of everything. The kind who will hug you without even knowing your name. The kind who will talk for hours on the phone when you might not ever be there. The kind who doesn’t order a salad on a date. The kind who doesn’t really know who she is, but will never forget what she isn’t. The kind who has a hard time letting go. The kind who has OCD traits and wants everything to be perfect. The kind who wants to find the one.

d o you ever get that feeling where you don't want to talk to anybody? you don't want to smile and you don't want to fake being happy. but at the same time you don't know exactly what's wrong either. there isn't a way to explain it to someone who doesn't already understand. if you could want anything in the world it would be to be alone. people have stopped being comforting and being alone never was. at least when you're alone no one will constantly ask you what is wrong and there isn't anyone who won't take 'i don't know' for an answer. you feel the way you do just because. you hope the feeling will pass soon and that you will be able to be yourself again, but until then all you can do is wait.

I really want to get in his head, and know if it's really over.. because to me, it's not. and i know if he came back right now i'd drop everything, that's so sad to say.. i probably still would, even a year from now, and that's even sadder.. probably would until i found something remotely close to what i had with him.

It's the possibility that keeps us going, not the guarantee.

I wish I had kept it all; I wish I had records of all the things we've said to each other, just to make sure they aren't a figment of my imagination. Just to make sure that they were real.

God knows I'm supposed to be getting over him. I promised myself that I would stop wanting him so badly, and that I would finally be done with him. But still, sometimes, when I'm laying in bed and cannot sleep, I think of him. I think of what it used to be like to nap with my head on his chest and wake up to him touching my cheek and looking at me adoringly. How it felt to have his skin up against mine. And when I think about all that, I miss him more than ever

It started off with an elephant in the room because we didn't know what to do after we broke up. All we knew is that we wanted to be friends. now it's turned into blocking you out of my life because you continue to push me further and further while hurting me more each day.

Don't let your heart keep breaking, move on. Please don't look back. We fall down, we get up. We try to hold our head up when life pulls us apart. And we fight, and we bleed, but all we ever need is something to hope for. Wherever we can see, wherever we should be, is well within in our reach.

you can be happy tomorrow. you can be happy when you get through your list of things to do. you can be happy when you meet the one. you can be happy when you get the right job.you can be happy when you get that raise. you can be happy when you stop buying the things you need and start buying the things you want. you can be happy when you retire.you can be happy when the weather suits you. you can be happy on a plane.you can be happy in the rain. or you can stop reading this, take a deep breath, and be happy right now.